This is Kristin Kimball's second book. In her first, The Dirty Life, she describes meeting her partner, Mark, and moving to the small village of Essex NY where they start a new farm. This book is about life on Essex farm. Kristin and Mark run it with a mixed bag of helpers.
I have often wondered, when reading books for this blog, how hard life must have been for some of the authors. While the writers may mention setbacks they rarely talk about how hard it really gets, how they suffer mentally or if they are on the verge of giving up.
Kristin Kimball does write about this and that makes a refreshing change. This is the story of the farm, the village, the workers, the cattle, the produce, the horses, the house but most of all of her and her husband and children. After a 100 pages I was beginning to think: how does she cope, why does she stay with this impossible man, who is obsessed with farming, does not care that the house they live in is in a terrible state (the access to the staircase to the bedrooms is outside), does not care they have no privacy and loves dangerous sports (He tells her: 'Worry is your choice').
By this time they have two children and, while combining working on the farm with looking after a baby was doable, 'A toddler plus an infant equaled one full-time job, and instead of splitting it between us or even discussing it much, we seemed to assume that job was mine.'
When helpers don't show up she still has to pitch in and the cold and sleep deprivation get to her.
'This was not at all what I had pictured, way back at the beginning, when I imagined raising children at the farm. (...) The winter weeks wore on. Milking was a liberation from the house, but it added to my exhaustion. On nights when Miranda didn't sleep well, it felt nearly impossible to get out of bed at four-thirty and continue all day. The house, meanwhile, seemed to be closing in on us, filling with visiting young farmers interested in our horses and our full-diet model. Mark loved company, new opinions and the constant underlying hum of youth and action, which fueled our winter work. To me, the house felt increasingly crowded and dirty, and there was way too much noise for a family with an infant.'
She decides to get all of the helpers (who, while living elsewhere, had been spending their time and eating in the house) out, and relocate the office to an old trailer.
'The house was so quiet without the farmers in it. I took all the extra leaves out of the dining table (...) We would set a place for Mark, but most days, he didn't have time to come in. As winter faded, the separation increased.'
'As the baby howled and the rain fell, I looked at the cards on the table and thought: Sometimes the hardest hand to play is the one you dealt yourself.'
She is saved by wise friends ('He is so extreme, I complained. Yeah, you would never be happy with a normal person') and the marriage is saved by a therapist. Slowly she and Mark find a way to be together again.
Meanwhile there are droughts and, in another year, endless rain, when it seems the crops will drown. There is also is the completely unexpected kindness of a stranger who donates money which they use to install drainage in their fields. In the final chapter walls are torn down, new windows fitted, the rooms re-designed so that at last they don't have to go outside to go to bed.
Of course this book also tells the fascinating story of a small farm in the 21st century (especially interesting for those interested in working with horses) but I felt that it is in the personal story that this book really stands out. Highly recommended!
Kristins website can be found here and her farm's website is here
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